Loved and Worthy of Love

an endless journey toward self-acceptance

Your Body, Forever

Good morning! I haven’t written in quite a while, as I’ve had a lot going on in my life. The response to the Here Be Monsters podcast that came out last week has been phenomenal, and thank you to all of you have listened and offered words of thanks and encouragement! It has meant so much to have such positive feedback. It’s hard to put yourself out there on such a public platform, but the support that I have received has been incredible and I’m so fortunate to be able to put my story out there.

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Today, I’m linking up with Amanda to say something that might be a tad alarming: your body does not stay the same forever. Allow me to repeat: your body does not stay the same forever. No matter how hard you try, how many burpees you do, how many miles you run, whether or not you have children, your body does not stay the same forever. I’m currently recovering from surgery that I had on Monday, and I can feel that my body has changed just since having that surgery. As silly as it sounds, I kind of feel like a new person and, in some ways, I am. My surgery was minor, only the removal of an ovarian cyst that appeared as though it could cause complications, yet it has changed my body. Pain that I have had in my hips for years has diminished significantly, and I have an overall sense that my body works better without that cyst.

Although I feel different, I still have the same body now that I had before my surgery, just as I have the same body that I had when I weighed 80 pounds more or 60 pounds less. Our bodies are meant to change, which is part of what makes them incredible. Our bodies change throughout our lives to accommodate changes in environment, to reflect our emotional and physical health, and to prepare us for each life stage that we encounter. They are incredible things, and we dwell far too much on keeping them the same to appreciate how miraculous it is that they can change.

I’m grateful that my body changed when I went through puberty because that’s what bodies are supposed to do. I’m grateful that my body refused to allow me to lose all of its fat when I descended into anorexia, as I know that fat protected my organs when I was at my sickest. I’m grateful that my body has changed over the last couple of years that I have had this cyst, because it let me know that something worth looking into was going on. Our bodies are meant to change, but they are always ours. How phenomenal is it that this body has changed so much, yet still carries reminders of things that happened twenty years ago? I have scars from falling off of my bike when I was learning to ride it and birthmarks that have been with me for a quarter of a century.

Our bodies tell the stories of our lives, and that is phenomenal. So, how about we stop trying to force them to do what we want them to do and start letting them tell us what they need. How about we let them change in the ways that they are meant to change and appreciate how accommodating they are of us? Our bodies are ours, forever, and they are miraculous.

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1 Comment

  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Erin. This is a useful reminder. My body has been changing a bit in the past few months too, just in small ways, and I find it sort of alarming. My body was so stable in weight for the first year after recovery that seeing a shift is tough–especially because my mom, for instance, has a very stable weight. So thank you for this reminder that bodies are meant to change. It’s also interesting, though, to think about how we have the same body, and how it’s always been there for us. <3
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