What I Ate Wednesday 9/21/16

Good morning! I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing in general, and back into the habit of blogging. As I have moved through the recovery process, blogging has felt less necessary for me, primarily because I’m just so busy. I think it is really important for there to be blogs out there of people who are pursuing full lives through recovery, though, and I want to be that kind of blog. So, I’m back at it today! I’m linking up with Jenn to share a day’s worth of food with you, which I haven’t done in quite some time.

This particular day was one in which I was visiting Indiana for my best friend’s wedding. I landed at 6am in Chicago, and I was starving when I got off of the plane. Before getting on the train to Indiana, I stopped at Panera for some oatmeal and a whole lot o’ coffee.

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oatmeal with strawberries and pecans

While on the train, I snacked on a bag of trail mix that I had brought with me.

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My friend picked me up in Indiana, and we grabbed some lunch on the way into town. One of the grocery stores there has a great salad bar, so we decided to stop there.

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salad with cottage cheese, garbanzo beans, and  vinaigrette

After I had settled in for a few minutes, it was time for my friend’s bachelorette party group yoga class! If you’re ever hosting a bachelorette party, I highly recommend this idea. It was such a nice way to spend time together, and it was something that my friend absolutely loved.

When we finished with our class, we went back to my friend’s house to get ready for our bachelorette party dinner. While we were getting ready, we snacked on various little things to hold us over until dinner.

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Oreo cookies, pretzel sticks, and unpictured M&M’s. 

After we had fancied ourselves up, we headed out to dinner together at a nice restaurant. Everything looked incredible, and after much deliberation I decided to order mussels and a plate of goat cheese, which came with little toasts. I also ordered a cocktail with jalapeno-infused vodka, which was absolutely delicious.

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We got home pretty late, and I was exhausted from a long day of travel. I walked to the house where I was staying, had a little snack, and collapsed into bed.

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homemade granola, m&m’s, and pretzels

It was wonderful to spend the weekend celebrating my friend’s wedding, especially because food fears feel so far away to me now. They are still there, and they occasionally pop up unexpectedly, but I feel as though I can actually live my life now. I can have a cocktail while out to dinner because it’s a special occasion. I can order what I really want at a restaurant. I can travel without crippling anxiety.

With these freedoms, I have gained weight. There was a time when that idea was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. Now that I’m living it, though, it doesn’t feel quite so scary. I have gained weight, but I can think again. I have gained weight, but I can exercise without feeling exhausted. I have gained weight, but I have gained a life as well. If you feel like you are the exception in recovery, the person who really does have to restrict forever, let me assure you that you are not. I’m going to be entirely honest: you will probably need to gain weight, but it will be so fucking worth it.

4 comments
  1. I could have written those first few sentences verbatim. Half the time, I don’t see the need for my blog anymore- recovery is hardly ever on my mind anymore. But then I realize… that’s the whole point of the blog right now. To show it is possible to move on. I’m currently navigating that territory right now as well, and I don’t know what the future of my blog looks like right now in terms of consistency either, but hey- that just means we are both doing well right now!

    1. I, for one, think you’re doing a great job with it! It’s a challenge to balance recovery past and present with where we see ourselves going, but I agree that it is so important to show people what a healthier life looks like 🙂

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